Friday, August 3, 2018

Nerd rage

Grammar/Punctuation Derangement Syndrome: Characterized by flaming hot fury and acts of violence that include pen-throwing, foot-stomping, and keyboard abuse; sometimes accompanied by NSFW verbal outbursts, this disorder may be triggered by any of the following:
  • Inability to distinguish between "e.g." and "i.e." OR (and especially) the misguided belief that these Latin abbreviations are synonymous and may therefore be used interchangeably. 
  • Liberal use of both "e.g." and  "i.e." without the (necessary) comma to follow. 
    • Note that "liberal use" means at least three times per page, throughout the entire length of a 174-page proposal. God help me. God help us all. 
  • Use of the semi-colon to separate single-word list items (OH GOD THE HUMANITY).
  • Use of the phrase "flush out" in reference to anything other than a toilet or a sewer system. 
So that was Monday. And now it's Tuesday. I slowed way down on my way home from the pool, to accommodate two (not one, but two) squirrels who were either blind or just not smart enough to get out of the way of an oncoming Subaru. I wondered for a moment if squirrels as a species might not have benefited if I'd hit one or both of them (NOT ON PURPOSE) because these two were obviously not the best contributors to the squirrel gene pool. But then I realized that as humans, we're probably better off if the squirrels don't become too intelligent. My family in particular doesn't need any more rodents that can outsmart us.

*****

Do you see what happens to me when I don't get out enough? I mean, really.

*****

I don't look at blog analytics very often, but I did look yesterday, and found an unusual one-day spike in visitor numbers. Interestingly, many of them are from Russia. So добро пожаловать. That means "welcome," if I take Google's word for it. I suppose I should actually learn some Russian, given that it will eventually be the primary language of the United States. Meanwhile, I hope that my poor grammar doesn't upset any Russian trolls. I know how that feels.

No comments:

Post a Comment